When Pain Becomes Pleasure

A lot is happening or rather has happened. Lots of pain and turmoil. At some point it almost feels like so much to bear but then, troubles don’t last forever and success doesn’t come overnight and it’s not easy to come by.

Feeling weight upon my shoulders, feet feeble and frail like a dry twig on a tree awaiting to drop on the ground. Wishing the world would just open up and swallow me because my life seems to be falling apart and efforts to fix anything already seem to prove futile. So much thoughts that all seem like a mirage: so vague and unclear.

I think to myself that I may probably be on the verge of despair. And how my closest circle of friends tend to think I need some sort of guidance and counseling because I’m actually losing it. “It’s not all that bad”, so I tell myself.

Then a talk with someone actually makes me realize that every bad happening in life can actually bring forth so much good. Being positive about every bad encounter, experience and phase in life helps forge ahead,cliché as it sounds, it works wonders and makes life worth living because at the end of it all, something good ends up unfolding and it’s definitely gonna be a new chapter in life, a new beginning as well.

So then, dear self, learn to live through the pain and for the good that comes after is gonna be worth the endurance, the wait and the pleasure that comes from it is just gonna be a testimony and a tale to tell.

The Cry of My Heart

Sudden race in my heart, fast beats
I can't help but wonder if it is at all normal
The thought of you sends chills down my spine
And I guess I know why; You are mine.
There's been so much tragedy;
But funny thing is, you're the remedy

You said, "Ask and you will receive"
What I ask for is very simple and do-able
The stress reliever that you are and have always been,
That there be no boundaries between our love
Two hearts; One love that we sire together
Let these veins that run through my body like tributaries,
cease to show
Instead, may the beautiful glow of love sparkle and shine,
now and forever.

I wish we could be forever one, making the shattered me whole
And if life was a movie, you'd be my best part.
My solemn cry!

Deliberate Love

It’s taken a while to write and so here goes. Inspiration struck I guess. :-). I am in this phase of life where I have decided to be care-free. A lot has happened in the past couple of weeks and months, to the point of self realization. I have had to take in so much and a time has come where I choose not to rest on my laurels. Instead, focus on that which is my forte and forge ahead in tranquility. A time where I also put into consideration the needs of my loved ones. Sometimes things tend to reveal themselves in crystal clarity when we least expected, and that there could be more than meets the eye. Just as the old adage goes, Time tells it all and heals.

Got to this point where I had to question what love is. What I think most of us perceive love to be is bullshit. We tend to treat love as something “we are in” or something that “happens to us”. But love, a pure, true and mature love, is an act . Love is an act my people. So I think, or is rather the conclusion I have come to.

Two hearts, one love

Love is a decision. It is deliberate. It is an external effort and energy every day. It is an every day act. It is choosing to commit to your significant other. It is doing! And it is based on You, not Them. ( The society).

Your heart chooses who to love. Their character and behaviour determines if they’re meant to stay or not. It is by choice who you decide to love, right? But beware, you should not just love anyone. Make deliberate decisions on what to do based on what you want.

You can’t love everyone. No. You can care for everyone’s well-being in a passive way, but you can’t actively invest in everyone.

Personally, I only want very easy things from my partner:

  1. Emotional health and well-being — emotional security and stability, self-love, self-esteem, integrity and grit.
  2. Their intelligence
  3. Their friendship

“If love is an act, then love is an investment of time and attention (our most valuable things in life.) And if love is an investment, then you love based on return.”

ANONYMOUS-

And if you want a healthy relationship, you choose an emotionally-healthy partner, and afterwards focus on the work of loving them.

Because emotionally-healthy partners will put in effort and love right back. So pick someone who is self-loving, deserving of your love and , will return it and meet your needs.

Love is a deliberate choice

There’s also the idea of letting go off someone you love especially if the relationship is on the ropes.Hardest pill to swallow, I know. But I guess it is simply said/done to prove that if the love is meant to be, it will come back to you. It’s a way to free yourself from that pull or that hold you have on that person. It’s also a way to show that true love never dies and if that person wants to leave for whatever reason, you should not stand in the way of that desire. When you do that, you are letting go, despite the pain, knowing that the person may not come back to you and that’s the scariest part. However, it’s best to know this early on rather than hanging on year after year and knowing that this person really doesn’t want to be with you. Letting go shows tremendous strength and love, because it takes an unselfish love of that person to truly be willing to lose the person, since you love him or her so much.

Bottom Line: Be intentional & deliberate in all endeavours as far as true love and matters of the heart are concerned.