Posted on by Miss Namisi · 39 Comments

Deliberate Love

It’s taken a while to write and so here goes. Inspiration struck I guess. :-). I am in this phase of life where I have decided to be care-free. A lot has happened in the past couple of weeks and months, to the point of self realization. I have had to take in so much and a time has come where I choose not to rest on my laurels. Instead, focus on that which is my forte and forge ahead in tranquility. A time where I also put into consideration the needs of my loved ones. Sometimes things tend to reveal themselves in crystal clarity when we least expected, and that there could be more than meets the eye. Just as the old adage goes, Time tells it all and heals.

Got to this point where I had to question what love is. What I think most of us perceive love to be is bullshit. We tend to treat love as something “we are in” or something that “happens to us”. But love, a pure, true and mature love, is an act . Love is an act my people. So I think, or is rather the conclusion I have come to.

Two hearts, one love

Love is a decision. It is deliberate. It is an external effort and energy every day. It is an every day act. It is choosing to commit to your significant other. It is doing! And it is based on You, not Them. ( The society).

Your heart chooses who to love. Their character and behaviour determines if they’re meant to stay or not. It is by choice who you decide to love, right? But beware, you should not just love anyone. Make deliberate decisions on what to do based on what you want.

You can’t love everyone. No. You can care for everyone’s well-being in a passive way, but you can’t actively invest in everyone.

Personally, I only want very easy things from my partner:

  1. Emotional health and well-being — emotional security and stability, self-love, self-esteem, integrity and grit.
  2. Their intelligence
  3. Their friendship

“If love is an act, then love is an investment of time and attention (our most valuable things in life.) And if love is an investment, then you love based on return.”

ANONYMOUS-

And if you want a healthy relationship, you choose an emotionally-healthy partner, and afterwards focus on the work of loving them.

Because emotionally-healthy partners will put in effort and love right back. So pick someone who is self-loving, deserving of your love and , will return it and meet your needs.

Love is a deliberate choice

There’s also the idea of letting go off someone you love especially if the relationship is on the ropes.Hardest pill to swallow, I know. But I guess it is simply said/done to prove that if the love is meant to be, it will come back to you. It’s a way to free yourself from that pull or that hold you have on that person. It’s also a way to show that true love never dies and if that person wants to leave for whatever reason, you should not stand in the way of that desire. When you do that, you are letting go, despite the pain, knowing that the person may not come back to you and that’s the scariest part. However, it’s best to know this early on rather than hanging on year after year and knowing that this person really doesn’t want to be with you. Letting go shows tremendous strength and love, because it takes an unselfish love of that person to truly be willing to lose the person, since you love him or her so much.

Bottom Line: Be intentional & deliberate in all endeavours as far as true love and matters of the heart are concerned.

Posted on by Miss Namisi · 29 Comments

Loyalty Goes Both Ways

“Silently she was sobbing at her desk, early at about 7:45 AM. I asked her if everything was OK? She told me that her child was sick and that she had been up all night. Bags under her eyes. I asked her “So, what are you doing here at the office?” She said that she had run out of “sick days” and could not afford to miss another day. I sent her home and promised that she would get paid. In addition, I wrote her a check on the spot for extra money to alleviate her immediate financial worry. She was incredibly grateful. To this day, she is my best employee not just because of her talent but her loyalty. Employers, please understand that most people are carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. Burning the candle at both ends. Trying to make ends meet. Kids, homework, spouses, significant others, elder parents, mortgage payments, auto repairs, etc. The relentlessness of life. People are worried about their jobs. PLEASE reassure your hard working employees that their jobs are secure, whenever possible. Loyalty goes both ways.”

Natalie Arias

There’s a lot to learn from Natalie Arias. Good gesture to her employees. I wish the same happened in our current working sector. Be it private or public. It would be good if an employee would feel content at their place of work and giving the best they can for they know that whatever burden they may be carrying with them, somehow there is some sort of relief if they had understanding employers and knowing their jobs are secure anytime they have to take time off their jobs to attend to pressing matters. Great lesson to learn as employees and employers.

Posted on by Miss Namisi · 55 Comments

For One, For All

Everyone will go through some hard times at some point. Life isn’t easy, but it can be unbearable if you want it to be. Just something to think about.

Did you know the people that are the strongest are usually the most sensitive? Did you know that the people who exhibit the most kindness are the first to get mistreated? Did you know the ones who take care of others all the time are usually the ones who need it the most? Did you know the three hardest things to say are, “I Love You, I am Sorry and Help Me?”

Sometimes just because a person looks happy, you have to look past their smile to see how much pain they may be in. To all my friends going through some issues right now, there is relief in sharing out our problems with our closely related persons and friends. We can always be sanguine about a better tomorrow, a better life in future because nothing we go through in this life is permanent. It is all seasonal, just like tides.

It would be awesome to start some sort of avalanche where we all can be there for our loved ones when they feel like they have hit rock bottom. Come to think of it, we all need positive intentions right now in life. We need to support each other. Support those with family problems, health struggles, job issues and worries of any kind because all one may need is just to know that someone cares. Let’s do it for all of us because no one is immune to any bad happenings in life.

Let’s be pragmatic in our dealings, reach out to our people and help where you possibly can and let no one be vainglorious in whatever act of help since it is all done with an intention to help and not destroy. No one needs to feel pain from the crown of their heads to the sole of their feet. We all want to feel loved and cared for and be enthusiastic about living life regardless of what it brings forth.This should just display and express moral support. Do it for a friend, to a friend and with a friend. It will surely go a long way to touching hearts. All good deeds shall surely be rewarded!

Posted on by Miss Namisi · 32 Comments

One in a Million

Sitting and listening to Gramps Morgan’s ” One in a Million”, inspired this very writing today. I really love it when I get to relate and be in sync with music, especially if it speaks to me, for me and through me. The feeling is just out of this world. It’s fulfilling enough to the soul and overwhelming at the same time. Lyrics get spoken for us when we can’t really express ourselves in utter words.

Its real good when you find that “one in a million”. You may have messed up some time in your life,it’s okay. Every one makes mistakes and has had faults here and there but one thing is for sure, I am no mistake in your life. I bet you will agree with me. You walk on the streets in town, see a girl around the corner, and all it does is make you think of me and you’re definitely missing me. Don’t get me twisted though, it is a good feeling to be missed by your partner and all it does is make me feel good about myself and as a woman of calibre.

I know you need my arms around you every night; the same applies to me you know! To you I know I am worth a trillion, I am one in a million. You will probably never find a woman like me. If I was to give my heart to you, I know by our love, you’d spend a lifetime making it up to me and reminding me of the blessing I am and have been in your life because you make me feel valued.

Image result for one in a million

It’s just interesting how people can come into your life and make such an impact that you can barely remember what life was like without them. That is what I want to be to you, your knight in shining armor, be with you through thick and thin and against all odds because when united and as a team, we can beat anything that comes our way. We are all a work in progress and we definitely are going to soar to greater heights together.

Image result for its me and you

Someone to share your pain, someone who’s going to stand in the rain with you. Someone who listens and responds to your beck and call. Someone who is not afraid of expressing and saying how they feel about you. Someone who is going to be your friend and lover. Not just A One in a Million kind of girl, but A Once in a Lifetime kind of woman. Keeping it real all day, everyday!


Posted on by Miss Namisi · 45 Comments

From Me to You

Sunday, 1st September 2019. I will live to remember this date as vividly as I ever can. I had a sleepless night prior to this day. On the morning of this day, I picked my phone to text you as you had been lingering on my mind all night and that very morning as well. I was not in the right state of mind, I could hardly feel my heart beat because it was heavily loaded with pain. My abdomen felt even worse. Writhing in silent pain is all I did all morning.

This day just made me realize how scared I am to lose you. We may have our issues but truth is, it is one of the times in my life I dread the most. This is because I can’t stand the fact that we are not at par and on different pages. It’s said, “No one is perfect ” ,but my union with you is my everything. It is my life. You are my perfect match.

I want to let you know that you mean the world to me and cliché as it may sound, I mean every word. For all the times I have had to step on your self esteem, your ego and on you as a person, I am sorry. I have always been proud of you and I forever will be. You may be facing a difficult time of things and I want you to know that you have my ultimate support.

You may not know this but truth be told, you make me want to be a better person ( I hope your heart soars at the sound of this 😋). While not everyone wants to be a muse, people do like to know that they inspire others especially if the other is their partner. And this is evidence that to me, you’re an inspiration.

I want you to know that I genuinely appreciate you in my life. I’ll always have your back and if push comes to shove, you can count on me being in your corner. We’re a team. It is me and you against the world.

My love for you means I want to stick it out for the long run. I want to grow old with you. This is because my feelings for you are strong, legit and will last a life time.

I don’t know about you but I for once never doubted even for a second when having you as my partner. If only I could dive in and take that which is mine by a firm grip. Does not sound logical right? I know! But hey, may be love isn’t supposed to be logical after all. 😁

I fell in love with you as the most unexpected person and at the most unexpected time and ever since its been nothing but bliss.

To me you are:-

  • A smile on a tiring day
  • A favorite song on repeat
  • My auto-correct
  • Human and Alive
  • My Best Friend
  • My Home
  • Mine

I must say you deserve the world but since I can’t give that to you, I’ll give you the next best thing, My World.

Yours truly,

Swits ♥

Posted on by Miss Namisi · 23 Comments

Tuesday Woes

This morning, I woke up different. I didn’t quite feel like going to work because it has been a routine that hasn’t been fun at all. So I look at myself in the mirror all ready and dressed up for the day but this day didn’t quite seem interesting. Not a single bit! It is not because I don’t fancy working but the thing is, the particular kind of work I am doing has not been all that thrilling. I had mixed feelings and I was so ready to quit my job having woken up with that mindset.

On my way to the office, all I had been thinking of was how exactly I would go about my quitting. Sitting in traffic and watching the fleet of vehicles that plied different lanes of the road, my mind so lost and wandering in thoughts that were so vague to me and not knowing exactly what to do with the day that has just began with a melancholic mood, I was confused by what I wanted on this day.

I got to work, twenty-seven minutes late due to the traffic but of course who would want to buy that for an excuse of lateness? Definitely no one. Walked over to my desk to start on the day’s tasks and my welcome was an email from the supervisor warning me of lateness. Just how bad could the day have began! I wondered. Being all moody, I tried not to let my moods get the best of me so I embarked on my duties.

This whole idea of quitting has been a stressful action to ponder. I had to find someone to talk to about all this negative energy that was emanating from within and externally as well. It felt like getting bitten by a snake and you needed to extract the poison out of your body.

This time round I felt so convinced and had a strong urge to throw in the towel but then my friend talked to me for a while and I am still pondering on the thought of hanging in there because of this day’s situation that made me feel like I should bounce out. Of course there’s bound to be some negative actions that may result from my decision to quit and truth be told, I am not sure I can handle it.

It could be true that grass isn’t always greener on the other side and I want to try and water it here where I am and see what happens. So then I tell myself that I should not over think lest I have a decision paralysis because my brain has been tirelessly working overdrive.

Well, there is still lots to put into consideration before then when I am fully sure about executing my plan and decision before I jump ship. Insight, wisdom and endurance is what is vital for me right now. I would really appreciate some counsel because I am still in a state of war in my mind.

All advice is highly welcome and will be appreciated to the latter. 
Help a sister make the right call.
Thanking you in advance. 🙂
Seeing Life Through a Different Lens perhaps is what I need.

Posted on by Miss Namisi · 2 Comments

Alex’s Funeral Program.

What other way to look at life than from this perspective? I totally identity with Alex.

Dr Ras kenya's avatarDr Ras Kenya

He who is not busy being born is busy dying.

Bob Dylan

It’s funny how Alex died. Don’t get me wrong he did not lose his life, he simply died a monotonous, cliche and stale death just like the zombie sitting next to you.

The somber hymns ” Wamlambez” and “Pekejeng” Sailed through the air as the woman next to his body cried. Her tears came through her mouth in a mixture of something that contains 40% alcohol with food platelets. She was in the process of dying too.

Alex’s death was gradual and highly unnoticeable to the naked eye. He wore his face like make up: his charm was his foundation and sarcasm his concealer while using stories of fictional characters as ponds.

His bottled up emotions and feelings started to ferment in his chest sending toxins through out his body eating him up like a cancer on gear…

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Posted on by Miss Namisi · 55 Comments

The Fear of the Unknown

There is just this extreme form of fear of the unknown. For a while now I have been experiencing this particular kind of fear. And it is a scary one. So I happened to read an article by Kathryn Sandford who is a life coach passionate about supporting others to grow and thrive in this complex world, and I found the read quite interesting since it was all about what I have been going through myself; Fear of The Unknown. I learned a few hacks from her article and thought it best to share them out on this post. I believe there’s more people like me out there who are/have been fearful and I really do hope that you can grasp a thing or two from this post.

The fear of the unknown can be hard to describe because all the thoughts around this fear are in your head. And it is definitely based on negative feelings. Otherwise there wouldn’t be any fear to begin with if one had positive feelings. The negative feelings create mental blocks and have a detrimental impact on one’s life. Be that as it may, it varies from person to person on how bad the impact could be.

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not the one who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear”

Nelson Mandela

This is definitely something that has been eating me up and trying to live life to my fullest potential and facing my unknown fear head-on. Someone once told me that to overcome and conquer my fear of the unknown, I have to be committed to making changes within myself. Not easy, but definitely not impossible! There are a few ways I came across Kathryn’s article to overcome fear of the unknown:

  • Understand your fear- Accept that you have fearful thoughts but do not let them paralyze your life.
  • Find the cause of your fear- The fear of the unknown is made up of thoughts and beliefs that result from negative experiences. I personally discovered, just recently, that I don’t take failure very well and from the common cliché “Human is to error”, I got hurt deeply that making right the wrong I did scared me because of the very fear of having to fail again. So once you identify the cause of your fear, brainstorm on ways to minimize risk and ways to cope with hurdles you may face.
  • Accept failure as an option- If you can’t accept that fear is an option then you will be convinced to stay in your comfort zone. This is so true you know! One has to be willing to step out of the comfort zone. Take away the idea of failure and use the set-backs as experience to draw lessons from. There will definitely be a positive outcome at the end of the journey. Trust the process.

“The guy who takes a chance, who walks the line between the known and unknown, who is unafraid of failure, will succeed.”

Gordon Parks
  • Embrace change- Change is the one thing that is constant in our lives. The more we resist change the more it becomes persistent. Open up to change and you will be resilient and courageous.

Fear of the unknown is created by our minds and self-limiting beliefs that are held in our minds. For some of us, these thoughts have been existing since time immemorial and have had a huge influence on how we live our lives. These thoughts won’t go away overnight and it takes commitment and hard work to retain your mind so that you can have peace and manage the noise of thoughts in your mind. Mindfulness is one of the best strategies to manage an overworked and busy mind.

“To make the right decisions and choices in life, you have to get in touch with your soul. To do so, you need to experience solitude, which most people are afraid of because in the silence you hear the truth and know the solutions.”

Deepak Chopra

Bottom Line: To live your dreams and embrace life, you have to be fearless and willing to step in to the unknown. There is no other way of living your life to your fullest potential.

Posted on by Miss Namisi · 50 Comments

Smitten

His friendly demeanor got me thinking otherwise of him. I told myself that I was not going to put the cart before the horse and in so doing, I decided to let nature take its course. Before then, he approached me differently and the few minutes I was in his presence, I had made a conclusion about him. He must have been quite a puzzle to solve! As the adage goes, “never judge a book by it’s cover,” started to make a whole lot of sense just after my interaction with the lad. This is so, because it is not often that what you see is what you get, Ah-ah! The opposite applies as well and shock on you, it does reveal a lot and one will probably stand corrected.

I then developed this sudden interest to get to know more of him. What he’s like, what he does for a living and his life in general. What struck me most was how he talked, the look in his eyes was mesmerizing; they had some sparkle that just lit up the area around. I watched his every move and boom! I just realized I had been checking him out all this while he was within five hundred meters radius from me.

This was the day it all began. Our mysterious liking for each other. It’s funny how feelings can escalate really fast that you hardly realize it yourself, and it only takes time before it actually dawns on you that there’s more than just mere liking for one another. It was all compliment after compliment, as we made very interesting discoveries about each other. We happened to share quite a lot of similarities and the feeling was way beyond awesome.

Our friendship then grew and took a different turn and advanced to a level that seemed quite scary then because it didn’t take long before either of us could admit to having being greatly affected by the presence of the other: And either one of our absence made the heart grow fonder of the other. We shared quite a lot and I’d be dumbfounded most times because I was just amazed by this particular creature on God’s green earth. I was smitten.

Image result for love

The thought of how this guy made me feel was just out of the planet! He made me feel alive, he gave meaning to “LOVE” that never seemed to be true anymore to me and he made me feel like the special being I was born to be. He gave me reason to believe in love again and that it truly exists. My face would light up every moment we shared and spent together and I would glow differently. I was startled by him and there are just times he made me speechless and my whole body felt frail in his presence. I liked him, I loved him. There was surely no doubt about that! And that is how a smitten lass found her way to the heart of a smitten lad and their journey in love was just that which every other being would desire to have; blissful.

Posted on by Miss Namisi · 62 Comments

Do Simple, Be Simple

The question I have decided to pose to myself (paraphrasing Heather Small’s lyrics) is, “What have you done today to make you feel good, to make you feel proud? ” This is my challenge.

Is there anything better than feeling that you’ve done a good job and recognising that fact yourself? It doesn’t need to be anything grand; simple gestures sometimes have the biggest rewards. Change yourself, and you will see the ripple effect in those around you.

Take each day as it comes, with its joys and stresses moving with the rhythm of life, and embrace each day individually. This is something I too, I’m trying to learn to do. I have been pondering a lot on my life generally and my relationship with people around me.

Let go of Monday blues, swim through Tuesdays and don’t let Wednesday rain into Thursday’s parade. Then take it easy on Friday, unwind on Saturdays and give thanks on Sundays.

Quit blaming your woes on the world and take the control you need in to your hands. After all, life is yours and no one is responsible for it but you. Step out of the ordinary and be the amazing person you were made to be. If you don’t try doing something different, or taking a leap of faith to face the challenges you’ve been avoiding, how will you know where your destiny lies?

What would you do each day that would make you feel more accomplished, and not just in your work, but in your life? Let this time be one of full chances taken, differences made and daily extraordinary things. Be simple, start small, grow big and make a change. Here’s to self challenge and new beginnings!

As always, my mantra, Simplicity!